While I consider our relationship to fall within the umbrella of Taken in Hand (TIH) relationships, I think for us, anal sex has evolved to take the place of spanking. Don’t get me wrong, at the beginning spanking was something we both enjoyed, but it was short-lived and he seems to gravitate the last 8-12 months toward anal domination.
An excellent question. He says he enjoys it because it’s a way to dominate me, totally and utterly. I hate it. It’s like Doule’s experience, which has regrettably been deleted, or this blogger’s depictions of anal orgasms.
Maybe it’s for many reasons. I don’t know everything that goes on in his head, and he is regrettably close-lipped during sex. But I know he likes to control me. Likes how I hate it. Likes how I cry or fight or beg or go limp. Likes how I look as I arch under him. Likes how I clench down on him when he reaches around and pinches my nipples. Likes how I cry out as he rips pleasures out of me. Likes how humiliated I become. Likes how I collapse before him. He tells me these things that he likes, sometimes, as he rides me and I am helpless beneath him.
It’s not the physical that causes the orgasm, it’s the mental. The subordination. The pain, the confusion, the pleasure. The torture, the humiliation, the father figure, the lord, the master, the boss, the chieftain, the priest. The shuddering submission and the dark enveloping pleasure of sub space.
For us, it’s not maintenance spankings or punishment spanking sessions. It’s maintenance anal and anal rape as a punishment. It affects me in a deeper, more personal way than spanking does. The pain is more broad and dull, less sharp, more bearable, more pleasurable. The anger spanking brings in me goes away as I fight and am conquered, irrevocably, irretrievably. He invades me; he conquers me; it is done. There is no more to be done but to submit.
From inside, grasping my hair in rough handfuls, he controls me as reins do a horse, riding me to his climax even when I weep and collapse from the pain.
Yet it’s all the same message as TIH. The man is in charge, the man holds the reins. The woman submits to his will, to his rules, to his specifications, and if she does not she can expect to be punished. Many TIH couples use spanking as a punishment, but not all. Right now, we do not. But my bottom is still punished. Oh, yes it is.