I Submit to Him

I wear headcovers in church, and I submit to him. I bend over in the shower and let him rub his erection against me. I submit to him. I writhe beneath him, I cry, I panic, I flee, but still he enters me inexorably. I submit to him. He kisses me, roughly. We've been apart too long. His lips search mine. I feel warm and wet. I submit to him. I suck, I lick, I want the jewel. If I try to leave, he punishes me. I'm his. Did he make me a whore or was I one already? Another one, he whispers, embracing my--our--fertility. Another anchor, another tie to him. Another terrible sacrifice. I submit to him.

I lie and wait

I lie and wait for the triple header I know is coming,
That I know I deserve after mentioning threesomes and reading erotica and hitting him
Am I in for a bad night?
He has trained me somehow,
Changed me somehow,
Made me this woman who lies in bed awaiting her triple fucking, asking for it, needing it
Needing the connection,
The atonement for sins past
Waiting to be overcome,
Needing to be reminded who's boss
The baseball game captures his attention a few moments more
I'm tingling, nervous
Still aching from the welt his hand left on me when I hit him--
He already marked me
What punishment is in store?
The game is almost over.

"Why Anal Hurts" Review

In his essay “Why Anal Hurts” the 40-year-old author is quick to point out that he advocates painful sexual submission, not sexual abuse or rape. However, he still has ideas most feminists would hate. His whole idea is that men were made to penetrate and dominate, and women were made to submit and receive penetration. From an evolutionary point of view, he’s right, and he uses this to justify a man training and hurting a woman with whom he is in a committed relationship:

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In the dark of the night

Darkness fall. A soft rain patters outside.

He takes me, sharp pain, too much–I squirm and gasp and try to move away,
But his hands are inexorable
Drawing me to him
Shuddering, tears threaten

 

The sharp pain that gives way to the dull ache that brings shameful convulsions–
Involuntary, not building but crashing through
How from the depths of my body pleasure can be ripped from me with the hands of a thief
 How the pain is almost more than I can bear but the endorphins race through me
And I shudder,
and I surrender,
and I give.

 

Anal + TIH

While I consider our relationship to fall within the umbrella of Taken in Hand (TIH) relationships, I think for us, anal sex has evolved to take the place of spanking. Don’t get me wrong, at the beginning spanking was something we both enjoyed, but it was short-lived and he seems to gravitate the last 8-12 months toward anal domination.

Why?

An excellent question. He says he enjoys it because it’s a way to dominate me, totally and utterly. I hate it. It’s like Doule’s experience, which has regrettably been deleted, or this blogger’s depictions of anal orgasms.

Maybe it’s for many reasons. I don’t know everything that goes on in his head, and he is regrettably close-lipped during sex. But I know he likes to control me. Likes how I hate it. Likes how I cry or fight or beg or go limp. Likes how I look as I arch under him. Likes how I clench down on him when he reaches around and pinches my nipples. Likes how I cry out as he rips pleasures out of me. Likes how humiliated I become. Likes how I collapse before him. He tells me these things that he likes, sometimes, as he rides me and I am helpless beneath him.

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