Pushing Her Mental Boundaries…

I have been asked about the theme of my tumblr blog and it being BDSM related yet I post a lot of girl on girl pics.  There isn’t a simple answer to this.  It’s much more involved then one might think.  Of course, there is the fact that those pics are just plain hot and I post them because I like them.  Yet, it also goes deeper than that in relation to my slave.
My slave has always had bisexual desires and found women attractive.  Getting her to admit she has those desires has been a bit more of a challenge.  It has taken work and time and patience.  It has taken a lot of support and encouragement in letting her know that it is ok to desire the things she does, not just with her bisexuality but also being the slave she needs to be, her desire and love of pain, and a whole host of other things.  It has taken her becoming more secure in what we have, who she is for me, and that we are in this together no matter what.  Everyone has those certain mental boundaries that are an issue for them, and her admitting her desires for women has been one of those.

I Submit to Him

I wear headcovers in church, and I submit to him. I bend over in the shower and let him rub his erection against me. I submit to him. I writhe beneath him, I cry, I panic, I flee, but still he enters me inexorably. I submit to him. He kisses me, roughly. We've been apart too long. His lips search mine. I feel warm and wet. I submit to him. I suck, I lick, I want the jewel. If I try to leave, he punishes me. I'm his. Did he make me a whore or was I one already? Another one, he whispers, embracing my--our--fertility. Another anchor, another tie to him. Another terrible sacrifice. I submit to him.

Don’t Trust The Vultures…

I saw this cartoon and had to laugh.  It is a funny blurb.  But then it immediately got me to thinking.  It seems as though this is so true in real life.  Many times people seem supportive and encouraging, yet they aren’t doing it for your benefit, but rather for their own personal reasons and gain.

Because it’s the way my brain works, I immediately related this picture and my thoughts to this lifestyle.  Trust is the cornerstone of it all.  Being able to trust someone, or a group of people in this lifestyle is at the core essence of all this is.  Domination requires trust.  Submission requires trust.  If you don’t have that trust then you have nothing.  The vultures will try to push and test you, regardless of trust.  Don’t let them!

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I lie and wait

I lie and wait for the triple header I know is coming,
That I know I deserve after mentioning threesomes and reading erotica and hitting him
Am I in for a bad night?
He has trained me somehow,
Changed me somehow,
Made me this woman who lies in bed awaiting her triple fucking, asking for it, needing it
Needing the connection,
The atonement for sins past
Waiting to be overcome,
Needing to be reminded who's boss
The baseball game captures his attention a few moments more
I'm tingling, nervous
Still aching from the welt his hand left on me when I hit him--
He already marked me
What punishment is in store?
The game is almost over.

"Why Anal Hurts" Review

In his essay “Why Anal Hurts” the 40-year-old author is quick to point out that he advocates painful sexual submission, not sexual abuse or rape. However, he still has ideas most feminists would hate. His whole idea is that men were made to penetrate and dominate, and women were made to submit and receive penetration. From an evolutionary point of view, he’s right, and he uses this to justify a man training and hurting a woman with whom he is in a committed relationship:

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In the dark of the night

Darkness fall. A soft rain patters outside.

He takes me, sharp pain, too much–I squirm and gasp and try to move away,
But his hands are inexorable
Drawing me to him
Shuddering, tears threaten

 

The sharp pain that gives way to the dull ache that brings shameful convulsions–
Involuntary, not building but crashing through
How from the depths of my body pleasure can be ripped from me with the hands of a thief
 How the pain is almost more than I can bear but the endorphins race through me
And I shudder,
and I surrender,
and I give.

 

Anal + TIH

While I consider our relationship to fall within the umbrella of Taken in Hand (TIH) relationships, I think for us, anal sex has evolved to take the place of spanking. Don’t get me wrong, at the beginning spanking was something we both enjoyed, but it was short-lived and he seems to gravitate the last 8-12 months toward anal domination.

Why?

An excellent question. He says he enjoys it because it’s a way to dominate me, totally and utterly. I hate it. It’s like Doule’s experience, which has regrettably been deleted, or this blogger’s depictions of anal orgasms.

Maybe it’s for many reasons. I don’t know everything that goes on in his head, and he is regrettably close-lipped during sex. But I know he likes to control me. Likes how I hate it. Likes how I cry or fight or beg or go limp. Likes how I look as I arch under him. Likes how I clench down on him when he reaches around and pinches my nipples. Likes how I cry out as he rips pleasures out of me. Likes how humiliated I become. Likes how I collapse before him. He tells me these things that he likes, sometimes, as he rides me and I am helpless beneath him.

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The Jekyll and Hyde Contradiction…

I believe at times we all have contradictions that that run through our head.  This is especially true within this lifestyle of BDSM, D/s, Ms, etc…  Any of you that have followed me for any length of time know that I have written about the contradictions that lie within submission.  There is the internal battle many times of what seems right versus what a submission wants, needs, or craves.   It can be hard to accept these things and come to terms with our desires for these seemingly inappropriate acts and treatment.  In today’s society, it can even seem very wrong to even want to submit and give power and authority over to another person, regardless of the acts that may play out.  Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret… this can be hard for a Dominant/Master at times as well.

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