She had abolished herself within the dark dungeon because of the way she had been treated and viewed by all those outside. She had waited what seemed like a lifetime for the One Person that had the key to release her. For the One Person that was willing to bring her out of the darkness and accept her within the light. The One Person that could unlock the door to allow her to finally be free to fly. The One Person that could release her from the darkness she thought she would always be within.
As the door opened and the light He brought to her laid it’s beams upon her wings, they naturally spread as if she had always known how to fly. Yet, she was afraid of what lied beyond the door. At least in the darkness she knew what to expect. He didn’t drag her into the light, but instead patiently waited. He encouraged and offered support for her new life as she slowly left the darkness behind and stepped into the light. She knew that she owed everything to Him, for after all He was the one that held the key that would allow her to be who she has always been destined to be, and would completely accept her as she was.
As tears of happiness rolled down her face, she took his outstretched hand to begin the Dauntless Journey down the path she had needed to be led down her entire life. She could finally feel her wings spread wider than they ever had before as she felt the care, love, and safety in his guidance. She was still afraid, but only of the unknown. Yet, she trusted Him with every ounce of her being, would give him her very best, and knew this was exactly where she was meant to be.
BDSM without the toys… is it still BDSM?
Well, yes, you can make an argument that BDSM is more about the relationship between two people– is one in control? Is the other submissive? You can create the allusion of control without the bangs and whistles, without the whips and gags and rope and handcuffs.
But before I talk about all that fabulousness, I need to write about the more serious side. A continuation of my last post, I think. I had ended it here:
This says what’s been on my mind lately. Sometimes so many things run through my head about this lifestyle and D/s, yet I just can’t seem to formulate them into one complete post. My thoughts can jump here and there and be all over the place. But this pretty much says it all! This says how I feel and see this and what I think it should encompass and be.
In all seriousness, I was watching some of the women's gymnastics. The announcers were discussing the training regimen of one of the US Women. I say women, but really the are all very young. Anyway, they were talking about how talented yet stubborn she can be. It's just part of her personality. Her coach will push...she will push back...her coach will push more, etc... That was almost word for word how they described it. Sounds kind of familiar, doesn't it?
It takes a very strong coach to be able to train and push a gymnast like her. To stand up to her to make her be better. To make her become the best she can be. To push her past what she wants to do and thinks is necessary, in order to become more than she ever thought she could be. For the coach, I'm sure it can be very trying at times, yet it is the coach's job to not let her get the upper hand, and to keep her on track, improving, and progressing.
I think you can see where I'm going with this. As a Dominant, especially for a strong willed, stubborn, head strong submissive, you must be able to stand your ground and push. When you feel resistance, and feel her push back, you can't give in. You must stand your ground. You are doing her a disservice by giving in, and thereby letting her begin to control the situation. Ultimately she needs this control from you, and needs your Dominance. That is why she is here in the first place. She may not always like it, but it is for her own good and to make her better...to help her grow and progress. It's in seeing the fruits of your labor that she will trust and respect you more for standing up and not giving in. This is what she needs from you most.
One example of this is a short story I saw attached to a picture on tumblr yesterday. It was all about the Dom teasing the sub, getting her all worked up, letting her stew about it mentally, yet not letting her have any release. Many times that is the point of the exercise, and in showing who is in charge and in control. She gets her release when he allows it. She can ache and throb within, be a sloppy mess between her legs, and she can beg and plead to have him and have her release. She can need it more than anything. Yet, she doesn't get it.
This is where having inner strength comes into play for the Dom. It can be very easy to push her just a bit, and give her what she wants as soon as she begs a little. But does that serve the greater good of your relationship? Giving her what she wants every time she wants it, just because she asks? I don't think it does! It can be very difficult to say no to a beautiful woman who is overly sexually aroused, and begging and pleading to be taken. I mean, who in their right mind would turn that down, right? But part of being in control is being in control of yourself. You have to be strong to deny her to accomplish the goal you set out to reach.