Pushing Her Mental Boundaries…

I have been asked about the theme of my tumblr blog and it being BDSM related yet I post a lot of girl on girl pics.  There isn’t a simple answer to this.  It’s much more involved then one might think.  Of course, there is the fact that those pics are just plain hot and I post them because I like them.  Yet, it also goes deeper than that in relation to my slave.
My slave has always had bisexual desires and found women attractive.  Getting her to admit she has those desires has been a bit more of a challenge.  It has taken work and time and patience.  It has taken a lot of support and encouragement in letting her know that it is ok to desire the things she does, not just with her bisexuality but also being the slave she needs to be, her desire and love of pain, and a whole host of other things.  It has taken her becoming more secure in what we have, who she is for me, and that we are in this together no matter what.  Everyone has those certain mental boundaries that are an issue for them, and her admitting her desires for women has been one of those.

I Submit to Him

I wear headcovers in church, and I submit to him. I bend over in the shower and let him rub his erection against me. I submit to him. I writhe beneath him, I cry, I panic, I flee, but still he enters me inexorably. I submit to him. He kisses me, roughly. We've been apart too long. His lips search mine. I feel warm and wet. I submit to him. I suck, I lick, I want the jewel. If I try to leave, he punishes me. I'm his. Did he make me a whore or was I one already? Another one, he whispers, embracing my--our--fertility. Another anchor, another tie to him. Another terrible sacrifice. I submit to him.

Emerging From The Darkness…



She had abolished herself within the dark dungeon because of the way she had been treated and viewed by all those outside. She had waited what seemed like a lifetime for the One Person that had the key to release her. For the One Person that was willing to bring her out of the darkness and accept her within the light. The One Person that could unlock the door to allow her to finally be free to fly. The One Person that could release her from the darkness she thought she would always be within.

As the door opened and the light He brought to her laid it’s beams upon her wings, they naturally spread as if she had always known how to fly. Yet, she was afraid of what lied beyond the door. At least in the darkness she knew what to expect. He didn’t drag her into the light, but instead patiently waited. He encouraged and offered support for her new life as she slowly left the darkness behind and stepped into the light. She knew that she owed everything to Him, for after all He was the one that held the key that would allow her to be who she has always been destined to be, and would completely accept her as she was.

As she emerged into the light, she knelt before Him in gratitude and reverence. She was beholden to the One true holder of the key that released her from the dungeon of herself to find the freedom in being all she can be. She knew that only with him would her wings spread wide and she would finally learn how to fly. He would nurture her soul and help her accept herself and all she is. She finally knew what it was like to find complete and total freedom in belonging to and giving herself to that One Person that had the ability to release her from the imprisonment of her own mind.

As tears of happiness rolled down her face, she took his outstretched hand to begin the Dauntless Journey down the path she had needed to be led down her entire life. She could finally feel her wings spread wider than they ever had before as she felt the care, love, and safety in his guidance. She was still afraid, but only of the unknown. Yet, she trusted Him with every ounce of her being, would give him her very best, and knew this was exactly where she was meant to be.


~DV~

Because He Said So…?

I have seen pictures and groups of pictures on tumblr, and other places for that matter, that are D/s and M/s and BDSM related with the words “Because He said So”.  I will say that as a Dominant I do adhere to this mantra, but there are some caveats to this as well. 
For the uninformed, uneducated, and ignorant people of this world, it’s these caveats that hold the true meaning behind these words. This is not a blanket statement, right, or entitlement that gives an alleged Master/Dom the right to demand anything he wants, expect it to be done or carried out, and then get mad when it doesn’t happen.  Listen to this very carefully…You are not entitled to a single thing just because you call yourself a Master or a Dom.  You don’t automatically have the right to expect anything just “Because You Said So” because you have proclaimed yourself as having a title.  
So what does it mean when you hear “Because He Said So…”?
It means the sub/slave has given him that right and authority over her. It means she has consented this power to such a person. It’s because she sees and feels him as worthy of such power and control. It’s because he has earned the right to be able to be that way with her. It’s because he has earned her respect in the Dominant position h has with her. It’s because he has put in the time, effort and work to get t that point with her.
For me personally, when I see those words it’s not just those words alone that resonate with me.  It’s the entire dynamic of the power exchange relationship, all it takes and all the two of you have gone through together to reach a place where “Because He Said So…” is a reality and has true depth and meaning.  It is a very special feeling and place to be when you reach this together.  But it is not something that you can instantly demand and expect.  
Earn your place with her.  Put in the time and effort she deserves.  Earn your title with her, because she feels it and bestows it upon you, not because you hereby declare it for yourself.  Anyone can call themselves whatever they like.  Having someone else see you as that person and give themselves to you as that person in your life… that is the true blessing. You don’t have a right and aren’t entitled to anything.  You do have the right to earn what you want and strive to achieve your goals.  
When the title as her Master or Dominant has been earned, and she sees you as worthy of that position over her, that is much more gratifying and fulfills a level of accomplishment than anything ever demanded without effort.  And when you get that from her, that is when you can truly say… “Becasue I Said So…”!
~DV~

Submission vs Obedience…

I was recently asked about the difference between submission and obedience.  This is something that I have had in my head but never put a lot of thought into before.  I actually had to take some time to think about this and how I see the difference, which was harder to explain than I first thought it would be.  I had plenty of thoughts on this, but actually putting it into words was a bit ore difficult than I thought it would be.  

With a little help from my close friend google, I came up with a pretty clear picture of what was dancing around in that Dom space between my ears.  Obedience and submission are not one in the same, although similar.  Obedience is a matter of conscience and outward behavior.  It is the act of completing a task.  It is the actual action, so to speak.  Obedience isn't necessarily submitting, but I think it is a part of submission.  

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Transitioning to D/s… (Part 1)

I have been asked many times over the years which I think is easier...starting a relationship with a D/s dynamic or transforming an existing relationship into a D/s dynamic.  I even receive messages from people in existing relationships that want to bring D/s into what they have, and asking for help and advice.  Whether just starting out or being in an existing relationship, each has their good and bad points.  But by far I think it's easier to start a relationship with D/s in mind than to change over an existing relationship.  This doesn't mean that it can't be done by any means.  I just believe it to be easier to start fresh with D/s in mind.

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Give the Girl a Cookie

I want to write all the fun and sexy parts of date night.  I want to tell you how it started on date morning with me carefully selecting my clothes so that I would feel sexy and powerful all day.  And I want to tell you how we met for dinner and then wended our way home to an amazing time that leaves me sitting here with a generally sore right bottom cheek.  (Why only right?  See, if I could tell you all about it, you would know.)

But before I talk about all that fabulousness, I need to write about the more serious side.  A continuation of my last post, I think.  I had ended it here:

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Take My Hand…

Here I am...
Take my hand...
Not because I ask you to take it...
Not just because I extend it to you...
But because you need to take it...
You need what taking my hand means...
What it represents...
You need the guidance...
The leadership...
The one to watch over you...
Because you need the oversight...
The discipline...
The structure...
Because you need the pleasure...
The pain...
To be of service...
Take my hand...
Because you trust me...
You respect me...
You believe in me...
Because to me you need to give yourself...
To give all you are...
All you have...
To be shown who you are...
Who you can be...
To help you reach your potential...
Take my hand...
So I can enable you to be yourself...
With no hiding...
No running...
No false pretenses...
Without being judged...
Or looked down upon...
Together we can go far...
Farther than you've ever known...
Farther than you knew existed...
If it's what you feel you need...
And I am who you need...
There's only one thing...
One thing left to do...
Take my hand...
~DV~

The Ebb And Flow Of Dominance

The ebb and flow!  The coming and going!  Back and forth!  From here to there and back again!  The mind and our personalities are a funny thing.  One day we can be in particular head space, and the next day be totally different.  For some people, it's not even day to day that this occurs, but maybe even hour to hour, or minute to minute.  No, I'm not talking about the mood of women and them changing without a moments notice.  I'm talking about the mindset and needs of the Dominant!We all have moods we cycle through depending on what's going on in our lives.
I am no exception, and the needs of my Dominance change as well.  There are days when I feel very sensual and passionate.  I want to be softer and more caressing.  I want to kiss gently and rub her cheek softly.  I want to enjoy the elegant and sensuous curves that make my submissive the woman she is and trail my fingertips along every single part of her.  I want to explore her and enjoy all she is.  I want to tease and heighten her senses to the touch and make her want more.  I want her to feel loved and cared for and feel that side of me.  To know that it's there and that it is part of what she gets from me.

Settle For Nothing Less…

 

This says what’s been on my mind lately.  Sometimes so many things run through my head about this lifestyle and D/s, yet I just can’t seem to formulate them into one complete post.  My thoughts can jump here and there and be all over the place.  But this pretty much says it all!  This says how I feel and see this and what I think it should encompass and be.

~DV~

 

Olympic Submission?!?!

I was watching the London Olympics last night.  For me it's one of those things that certain games I enjoy and others I could care less.  At the same time, I can't quit watching because I just have to see who wins, and how they win.  The Olympics have control over me,and I don't like it.  I even found myself watching ping pong the other night.  I mean...really?!?!  LOL!

  In all seriousness, I was watching some of the women's gymnastics.  The announcers were discussing the training regimen of one of the US Women.  I say women, but really the are all very young.  Anyway, they were talking about how talented yet stubborn she can be.  It's just part of her personality.  Her coach will push...she will push back...her coach will push more, etc...  That was almost word for word how they described it.  Sounds kind of familiar, doesn't it?

  It takes a very strong coach to be able to train and push a gymnast like her.  To stand up to her to make her be better.  To make her become the best she can be.  To push her past what she wants to do and thinks is necessary, in order to become more than she ever thought she could be.  For the coach, I'm sure it can be very trying at times, yet it is the coach's job to not let her get the upper hand, and to keep her on track, improving, and progressing.  

I think you can see where I'm going with this.  As a Dominant, especially for a strong willed, stubborn, head strong submissive, you must be able to stand your ground and push.  When you feel resistance, and feel her push back, you can't give in.  You must stand your ground.  You are doing her a disservice by giving in, and thereby letting her begin to control the situation.  Ultimately she needs this control from you, and needs your Dominance.  That is why she is here in the first place. She may not always like it, but it is for her own good and to make her better...to help her grow and progress. It's in seeing the fruits of your labor that she will trust and respect you more for standing up and not giving in.  This is what she needs from you most.

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The Strength Within

"Patience is a Virtue"...how many times have we all heard that?  For me, more than we care to count.  Especially when in today's society everything seems to be so fast and furious.  Technology has made us want instant gratification and instant results right now.  I am no exception.  Yet, at the same time I teach about patience and that some things just take time.  So how do we deal with the fact that we need patience, yet want something right this minute? The answer is very simple...inner strength.  I think having a lot of inner strength is vitally important to being a Dominant.  I don't mean being physically strong, and even having that presence about you that exudes Dominance.  Sometimes, it can take all a dominant has to be strong and be patient.  This can be an internal battle he fights within himself. I'm not looking at this as patience in dealing with a submissive, or patience in seeing progress and growth within her.  That should be a given, as nothing happens overnight.  I'm talking about the strength to hold out yourself, as the Dominant, to be able to be better for the submissive.

One example of this is a short story I saw attached to a picture on tumblr yesterday.  It was all about the Dom teasing the sub, getting her all worked up, letting her stew about it mentally, yet not letting her have any release.  Many times that is the point of the exercise, and in showing who is in charge and in control.  She gets her release when he allows it.  She can ache and throb within, be a sloppy mess between her legs, and she can beg and plead to have him and have her release.  She can need it more than anything.  Yet, she doesn't get it.

This is where having inner strength comes into play for the Dom.  It can be very easy to push her just a bit, and give her what she wants as soon as she begs a little.  But does that serve the greater good of your relationship?  Giving her what she wants every time she wants it, just because she asks?  I don't think it does!  It can be very difficult to say no to a beautiful woman who is overly sexually aroused, and begging and pleading to be taken.  I mean, who in their right mind would turn that down, right?  But part of being in control is being in control of yourself.  You have to be strong to deny her to accomplish the goal you set out to reach.

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