I saw this cartoon and had to laugh. It is a funny blurb. But then it immediately got me to thinking. It seems as though this is so true in real life. Many times people seem supportive and encouraging, yet they aren’t doing it for your benefit, but rather for their own personal reasons and gain.
Because it’s the way my brain works, I immediately related this picture and my thoughts to this lifestyle. Trust is the cornerstone of it all. Being able to trust someone, or a group of people in this lifestyle is at the core essence of all this is. Domination requires trust. Submission requires trust. If you don’t have that trust then you have nothing. The vultures will try to push and test you, regardless of trust. Don’t let them!
She had abolished herself within the dark dungeon because of the way she had been treated and viewed by all those outside. She had waited what seemed like a lifetime for the One Person that had the key to release her. For the One Person that was willing to bring her out of the darkness and accept her within the light. The One Person that could unlock the door to allow her to finally be free to fly. The One Person that could release her from the darkness she thought she would always be within.
As the door opened and the light He brought to her laid it’s beams upon her wings, they naturally spread as if she had always known how to fly. Yet, she was afraid of what lied beyond the door. At least in the darkness she knew what to expect. He didn’t drag her into the light, but instead patiently waited. He encouraged and offered support for her new life as she slowly left the darkness behind and stepped into the light. She knew that she owed everything to Him, for after all He was the one that held the key that would allow her to be who she has always been destined to be, and would completely accept her as she was.
As tears of happiness rolled down her face, she took his outstretched hand to begin the Dauntless Journey down the path she had needed to be led down her entire life. She could finally feel her wings spread wider than they ever had before as she felt the care, love, and safety in his guidance. She was still afraid, but only of the unknown. Yet, she trusted Him with every ounce of her being, would give him her very best, and knew this was exactly where she was meant to be.
Every relationship involves two people. Two people that rely on each other to meet their needs, make them feel good, and to make them feel fulfilled. It’s a bond they felt from the start and has grown deeper as the relationship has progressed. It involves a lot of trust, communication and mutual respect. A power exchange relationship (D/s, M/s, etc…) is no exception to this, and may even have some of these characteristics that are even more prevalent than their vanilla counterparts.As we all know, much of what those of this in this lifestyle do and portray is very sexual in nature. Whether it’s written blogs, websites, Fetlife, Tumblr, or whatever the case may be, what we run across more times than not is the sexual elements. This may be justified to some degree, as much of the time these relationships are about sexual Domination and submission. Yet, I think it’s the aspects of these relationships outside of the sexual realm that are the foundation that makes them strong. It’s the day to day interactions and normal daily life that people build lasting relationships upon, and not wild unadulterated sex, although we will all agree that is the fun part of this.
For many people it seems to be easy to engage in some type power exchange relationship sexually. Yet, when it comes to daily life decisions it seems to be more difficult. People appear to have a harder time taking or giving up control in daily life than they do with giving up control of their own bodies. For me personally as a Dominant, part of my rules is that I have the last word and the power to make all decisions. I want my partners views, thoughts, and opinions, and will always take that into account, but in the end I have the say. That doesn’t mean I want total control, that I’m overly Domineering, or that it’s my way or nothing by any means. It just establishes the boundaries for which we will conduct ourselves. This rule is easy to say but is much harder for both people to actually carry out.
There are times that I may make decisions and that is the end of discussion. Yet, more times than not, it is a combination of my own decision and my subs decision. I don’t conduct my relationship as a dictatorship or like a communist regime. I don’t want a mindless sub or slave. I want someone that can contribute to our relationship to make us both better and stronger. I want someone who can think for themselves and will also make decisions that are for the betterment of us.
Giving up control on decisions that affect your life and will have long term consequences can be scary. It takes a lot of trust and respect for the other person, and this can take a long time to develop. So least to say, when my sub comes to me to help her make life decisions it can be very gratifying. It shows me the depth of what we have fostered together. It shows me the true submission she has towards me in letting me in to make these decisions for her. It shows me the trust she has in me to make decisions that could affect and alter her life long term. This could be financially related, about a career or job position, a situation with a friend, one of the children, or any number of possible scenarios. She knows that based on our relationship dynamic my opinion carries a lot of weight, and she will likely have to go with my stance on the matter. Ultimately, this is what she needs and expects of me, though. This is the leader she needs me to be. Even still, I don’t just tell her what to do and nothing else is allowed, but rather try to equip her with information to make an informed decision on her own. A true leader doesn’t demand, he inspires.
For a Dominant that lives this lifestyle and conducts his relationship within a power exchange dynamic, in all aspects of a relationship and not just sexually, trust and respect are everything. These are attributes that are earned and gained. So, having your submissive trust you in all aspects of your relationship, and to make decisions that are potentially life altering, is such a satisfaction. It can make you beam inside with delight in seeing the depth your relationship has reached and just how how far the two of you have come together. With this comes a lot of responsibility. You have to make sure you are ready and able to carry that weight on your shoulders and live with the consequences of your actions. Those actions affect not only you, but also your partner. I am more than willing to accept this responsibility. After all, reaching this point is what we have been striving for as part of the progression of what we have and both need, or at leas it should be, as part of our power exchange dynamic and relationship.