In his essay “Why Anal Hurts” the 40-year-old author is quick to point out that he advocates painful sexual submission, not sexual abuse or rape. However, he still has ideas most feminists would hate. His whole idea is that men were made to penetrate and dominate, and women were made to submit and receive penetration. From an evolutionary point of view, he’s right, and he uses this to justify a man training and hurting a woman with whom he is in a committed relationship:
Anal sex
In the dark of the night
Darkness fall. A soft rain patters outside.
He takes me, sharp pain, too much–I squirm and gasp and try to move away,
But his hands are inexorable
Drawing me to him
Shuddering, tears threaten
The sharp pain that gives way to the dull ache that brings shameful convulsions–
Involuntary, not building but crashing through
How from the depths of my body pleasure can be ripped from me with the hands of a thief
How the pain is almost more than I can bear but the endorphins race through me
And I shudder,
and I surrender,
and I give.
Anal + TIH
While I consider our relationship to fall within the umbrella of Taken in Hand (TIH) relationships, I think for us, anal sex has evolved to take the place of spanking. Don’t get me wrong, at the beginning spanking was something we both enjoyed, but it was short-lived and he seems to gravitate the last 8-12 months toward anal domination.
Why?
An excellent question. He says he enjoys it because it’s a way to dominate me, totally and utterly. I hate it. It’s like Doule’s experience, which has regrettably been deleted, or this blogger’s depictions of anal orgasms.
Maybe it’s for many reasons. I don’t know everything that goes on in his head, and he is regrettably close-lipped during sex. But I know he likes to control me. Likes how I hate it. Likes how I cry or fight or beg or go limp. Likes how I look as I arch under him. Likes how I clench down on him when he reaches around and pinches my nipples. Likes how I cry out as he rips pleasures out of me. Likes how humiliated I become. Likes how I collapse before him. He tells me these things that he likes, sometimes, as he rides me and I am helpless beneath him.
My stomach hurts
He rapes me, he hurts me, he takes me three ways then calls me names. When he is done I am crying dry tears and he whispers I love you.
I shiver, I huddle, I sigh. God is his master. He is mine.
