A New Understanding… Self-Discovery

I have always been a proponent that certain things cannot be forced.  That has always been my approach to D/s.  As much as I can make demands, set rules, define the relationship, there are some things I just won’t do or force.  To me, there is much more to be gained with some things when they are discovered on their own by the submissive.

It is a sort of self-discovery.  Not as in finding oneself, but in realizing certain things and having that “Ah Ha Light bulb Moment”.  The one where something just all of sudden makes sense and was realized on her own.  Mostly this revolves around feelings and emotions.  Around her thinking and views about a particular subject.  For whatever reason, in that moment, it just clicks and now there is a completely new understanding.

As a Dom, I can tell her how things are going to be.  I can tell her how she should view something and how it will be viewed within our relationship.  She may accept that and go with it, but at that time it will just be there.  It’s like another rule.  It’s just something that is expected of her.

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Not All Pain Lovers Are Masochistic

In this lifestyle we choose to be involved in, almost every relationship has some form of pain involved with it.  For some it may be very mild, or more of a discomfort.  For others it may be very intense and harsh.  There are those out there that love the feel of pain.  They get turned on by it, aroused, and need it as a part of their life and from the hands of their partner.  They are the masochists.  They can’t imagine going without being able to receive some sort of painful stimuli.

I think the true masochists are few and far between.  I believe that almost all submissives love, like, or learn to like some level of pain.  This does not make them masochistic.  For them it is not about the pain itself.  Pain is a side affect of the bigger picture.  For them it is about the act and the method in which the pain is received.  Most importantly, it is about the person inflicting the pain or discomfort.

For most submissives, pain from their Dominant is part of the relationship.  Whether that be spanking, nipple play, orgasm denial, or any number of other possibilities.  It the feeling they get from taking what their Dom dishes out.  It’s feeling the strength and power from his hands.  It’s being wiling to withstand what he does to her.  It’s feeling her own submission to him in giving herself completely to him for whatever he desires.  This isn’t necessarily about the pain itself.  It’s much more mental and emotional than just receiving pain.  It’s much more about her sense of belonging to him and giving all she has to give.

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