I keep wanting to write this, but I keep stopping.  I stop because I don’t want anyone to think I am complaining.  I’m not.  We have it pretty good right now, and if we aren’t able to connect as often lately, it is more because of my health and work than his.  And he NEVER gives me a hard time when I am having a hard time.  Which is pretty great of him.

So, this is not a complaint.  It is more of an observation.

I miss being spanked.

We slipped out of the habit of doing it one day.  I think we both think about it from time to time, but then we just don’t.  And the more time passes, the less we probably think of it.  Yes, Conina’s fabulous floggers are gathering dust and not fulfilling their divine purpose.

I miss being spanked.

But it is more than that.  It has dawned on me that I miss having a secret.  I like the random moments when I feel my bottom tingle a bit and no one knows it.  I like talking with a client about a serious issue while thinking – “what if I told them I was distracted because I was flogged just before coming over?”  I like the way having such a naughty secret makes me feel more feminine and yes, more powerful, out in the world.

When I was regularly being spanked, I would think, “I have to tell people about this!”  But now that we have stepped away for a while, I don’t know if I would think that again.  I have learned that having something to smile about silently is more than half the fun.

I miss being spanked.


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