Controlling Sex

This week has been really nice.

We’ve been having kinky sex. And I’ve been sleeping better. Fewer nightmares, I don’t even remember my dreams. It’s so nice!

The bad thing is it wears off after only a night. If we don’t repeat the, erm, performance, the next night, I don’t sleep as well again and I get nightmares.

I don’t know if it’s the rush of endorphins afterward, or the high of subspace, or the feeling of being totally emotionally and physically drained and then taken care of afterward…. but it makes me sleep so much better.

The 300: Rise of an Empire movie really put me in the mood. That sex scene… just, yum. And when I kept re-watching the scene on YouTube, I kept getting lots of rape and forced sex scenes (from movies, not actual porn) in the suggestions section. So I kept watching and I was definitely mentally ready for some return to our old kinkiness.

He did not disappoint. One night he took me, forced me, hurt me, bruised me, bit me… and when I was done, he kept going. I felt like I was breaking apart at the seams. I knew I couldn’t take any more, but he pushed me farther anyway. At one point he had me by my throat so tightly in the shower I almost passed out. And then afterward…. sweet relief. I sank into his arms and slept like a baby.

Last night he used and controlled me some too, but not so near to my breaking point. I was grateful. I still slept great. I don’t get turned on easily at all by vanilla sex, but something about being controlled and forced to do things to him…. it really gets me.

Maybe tonight I’ll get lucky again. 😉

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